1 00:00:52,839 --> 00:00:55,911 - [Thunder] - Honey, I think this coffeepofs broken. 2 00:00:55,976 --> 00:00:58,422 It's not broken. It's gurgling, isn't it? 3 00:00:58,478 --> 00:01:01,925 I know, it keeps gurgling and gurgling. Is it supposed to gurgle that much? 4 00:01:01,982 --> 00:01:04,656 It gurgles like that every morning. 5 00:01:04,718 --> 00:01:07,426 What flavorjellyjump-Up do you want? 6 00:01:11,391 --> 00:01:13,462 Do I have to have something thatjumps up? 7 00:01:14,728 --> 00:01:17,470 Couldn't I just have something that lays there... 8 00:01:17,531 --> 00:01:19,670 like eggs or bacon? 9 00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:23,909 - You don't have time for that. - I don't have time for something thatjumps up. 10 00:01:23,970 --> 00:01:27,440 Honey, if this thing ever stops gurgling, call me at the office, will ya? 11 00:01:27,507 --> 00:01:31,922 Bob, what's bothering you this morning? 12 00:01:31,978 --> 00:01:33,924 Nothing. It's just that everything-- 13 00:01:33,980 --> 00:01:36,426 Nothing. 14 00:01:37,417 --> 00:01:39,658 Honey, where's my umbrella? 15 00:01:39,719 --> 00:01:41,665 I left it at the office. 16 00:01:41,721 --> 00:01:45,692 I suppose with everything else that's not bothering you, that's not bothering you too, right? 17 00:01:45,759 --> 00:01:48,171 Right. Well, I can help you with that. 18 00:01:48,228 --> 00:01:50,435 Why don't you borrow my umbrella? 19 00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:55,713 Honey, this-- 20 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:03,647 This isn't an umbrella for a man. It's an umbrella for a nose. 21 00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:07,783 Bob, it's bad luck to open it in the house. 22 00:02:11,284 --> 00:02:13,764 It'd be worse luck to open that on the street. 23 00:02:17,524 --> 00:02:21,836 Dr. Hartley, l-l've never felt this low in my entire life. 24 00:02:21,895 --> 00:02:24,341 I know what you mean by that. 25 00:02:24,397 --> 00:02:26,343 And I have no one but myself to blame. 26 00:02:26,399 --> 00:02:30,074 I should never have gone to my old high school reunion. 27 00:02:33,206 --> 00:02:35,482 Everyone there seemed so much younger than me. 28 00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:39,918 Even my old teachers seemed younger than me. 29 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:45,754 And everyone there had so much more... 30 00:02:45,819 --> 00:02:48,197 hair than I have. 31 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,826 Mr. Carlin, you have a full head of hair. 32 00:02:50,891 --> 00:02:53,667 Yeah, it's really a good one, isn't it? 33 00:02:53,727 --> 00:02:56,537 - You mean it's a-- - Toup. Yeah. 34 00:02:59,566 --> 00:03:03,173 But don't tell anybody I wear a toup. I can't stand for people to know it. 35 00:03:03,236 --> 00:03:07,514 Once people find out you wear one, they-- they never look at your eyes. 36 00:03:09,542 --> 00:03:14,116 They, uh,just kind of stare at your hairline. 37 00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:17,059 Like you're doing right now. 38 00:03:17,117 --> 00:03:19,063 [Clears Throat] Sorry, Mr. Carlin. 39 00:03:19,119 --> 00:03:21,065 It-- It is a good one though. 40 00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:22,896 - You really think so? - Yes. 41 00:03:22,956 --> 00:03:25,266 I don't believe you. 42 00:03:29,596 --> 00:03:31,701 Don't worry, Mr. Carlin. Things are bound to get better, right? 43 00:03:31,765 --> 00:03:35,577 Oh, Mr. Carlin, good. While you're here, I'll just save a stamp. 44 00:03:35,635 --> 00:03:38,275 Here's your bill. 45 00:03:39,439 --> 00:03:42,113 L-I wouldn't look at that today. 46 00:03:44,077 --> 00:03:47,286 - Have a nice day. - Nobody's gonna have a nice day out there today. 47 00:03:47,347 --> 00:03:49,293 I never saw rain like that. 48 00:03:53,787 --> 00:03:55,824 I know it's gonna shrink. 49 00:04:01,227 --> 00:04:03,605 Carol, do I have any more appointments today? 50 00:04:03,663 --> 00:04:06,940 Well, Miss McGinn called. She wanted to come over and talk for a while. 51 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,503 Call her and make it tomorrow. 52 00:04:09,569 --> 00:04:12,106 It's not that serious anyway. She's an actress... 53 00:04:12,172 --> 00:04:14,345 and she found out shejust has three weeks to live. 54 00:04:14,407 --> 00:04:17,980 - Huh? - No, no. She's an actress on a soap opera... 55 00:04:18,044 --> 00:04:20,786 and she's had three weeks to live for the past two years. 56 00:04:20,847 --> 00:04:23,657 Ooh. I guess that's why she sounded so upset. 57 00:04:23,717 --> 00:04:25,663 She said she got fired today. 58 00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:27,699 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 59 00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:30,667 That means she's dead. 60 00:04:30,724 --> 00:04:34,638 Yeah, you better have her come in. But first, I better seejerry. 61 00:04:34,694 --> 00:04:37,538 And listen, Bob, tell that actress not to worry... 62 00:04:37,597 --> 00:04:40,703 because I saw this soap opera one time where this one lady died your tragic death... 63 00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:44,112 and she came back the very next week as her twin nun. 64 00:04:47,607 --> 00:04:50,884 - [Knocking] - Come on in, Billy. 65 00:04:53,179 --> 00:04:56,126 You're not Billy. You're Bob. 66 00:04:56,182 --> 00:04:58,788 You wanna see something fantastic? 67 00:04:58,852 --> 00:05:00,798 They're a kid's teeth. 68 00:05:00,854 --> 00:05:02,800 Well, yeah, but it's the way I took them. 69 00:05:02,856 --> 00:05:06,360 I mean, notice the composition, the contrast, the mood. 70 00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:12,665 They're real niceJerry, but I got a million things on my mind. 71 00:05:12,732 --> 00:05:16,407 You know when I get feeling that way, there's only one thing that really relaxes me. 72 00:05:16,469 --> 00:05:18,415 Get in the chair, Bob. 73 00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:23,187 You're not gonna clean my teeth. 74 00:05:23,243 --> 00:05:25,189 No, no, we're not gonna clean your teeth. 75 00:05:25,245 --> 00:05:28,089 Nowjust hop up there and relax. Put your little feet up there. 76 00:05:28,148 --> 00:05:30,150 That-a-boy. 77 00:05:30,216 --> 00:05:33,197 Now, I'm gonna put you in a comfortable position... 78 00:05:33,253 --> 00:05:35,199 and the secret is to relax. 79 00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:37,235 Just let the chair do all the work. 80 00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:39,793 Yeah, this is niceJerry. 81 00:05:39,859 --> 00:05:42,465 I don't know. All week, my head's been full, you know. 82 00:05:45,098 --> 00:05:47,442 LerryJen-y! 83 00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:55,083 So, what's bothering you, Bob? 84 00:05:55,141 --> 00:05:57,314 Jerry, all day long, you know, I sit in my office... 85 00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:59,948 and people come in and they tell me their problems. 86 00:06:00,013 --> 00:06:02,357 And I don't mind that 'cause it's my job, you know, but-- 87 00:06:02,415 --> 00:06:05,259 Then I go home and I ask Emily how her day was... 88 00:06:05,318 --> 00:06:07,264 and then she tells me her problems. 89 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,596 I mean, I have no time to myself, you know. 90 00:06:09,656 --> 00:06:12,000 No way to release myself, you know. 91 00:06:12,058 --> 00:06:15,972 I mean, the only time I'm relaxed is when I'm alone here with you. 92 00:06:18,965 --> 00:06:20,911 Gee, that's kinda nice. Thank you, Bob. 93 00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:23,447 I mean, I should take the advice that I give my patients. 94 00:06:23,503 --> 00:06:28,976 You know, they should just get all by themselves alone and depressurize. 95 00:06:29,042 --> 00:06:31,784 Well, look, Bob, whenever you wanna be alone, have some peace and freedom... 96 00:06:31,845 --> 00:06:33,791 just come on in here and relax. 97 00:06:33,847 --> 00:06:36,919 I won't bother you. just pretend I'm not even here. 98 00:06:36,983 --> 00:06:38,929 I'll just be working quietly. 99 00:06:42,155 --> 00:06:45,568 [Drill Whirring] 100 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,535 - Hi. - Hi, Margaret. 101 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:57,070 That smells good. I hate to bother you with this petition... 102 00:06:57,137 --> 00:06:59,845 -just when you're fixing dinner, but the manager is downstairs, - Oh. 103 00:06:59,906 --> 00:07:01,852 And I want him to know he's not getting away with this. 104 00:07:01,908 --> 00:07:04,718 Margaret, I just want you to know that we here in this apartment... 105 00:07:04,777 --> 00:07:09,419 rest easier at night knowing that we have you as our godfather. 106 00:07:09,482 --> 00:07:12,827 - Hi, honey. Hello, Margaret. - Hz; sweetheart. 107 00:07:12,886 --> 00:07:16,959 Hi, Bob. Perfect timing. Here, sign this petition, will you? 108 00:07:17,023 --> 00:07:18,969 - Here. - What is it? 109 00:07:19,025 --> 00:07:23,735 Uh, the manager keeps forgetting about that huge puddle at the entrance to the garage. 110 00:07:23,796 --> 00:07:27,835 Every time a car drives through it, it drenches anyone who's walking near there. 111 00:07:27,901 --> 00:07:29,847 Well, I think he'll fix it without the petition... 112 00:07:29,903 --> 00:07:32,975 because the manager was walking near here when I drove in. 113 00:07:34,607 --> 00:07:37,110 Got him and his wife too. 114 00:07:37,177 --> 00:07:39,123 Thanks, Bob. 115 00:07:39,179 --> 00:07:41,887 Anytime, Margaret. 116 00:07:41,948 --> 00:07:46,124 Honey, guess what I fixed for dinner tonight? 117 00:07:46,186 --> 00:07:50,999 - Um, bacon-- [ Sniffing] and eggs. - Right. 118 00:07:51,057 --> 00:07:53,901 In honor of “let's forget about this morning,“ okay? 119 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,406 Honey, I wanted to talk to you about this morning... 120 00:07:56,462 --> 00:08:00,205 and the reason why this morning happened. 121 00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:02,212 Uh-- 122 00:08:02,268 --> 00:08:05,044 Do you remember those old movies withjon Hall... 123 00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:07,050 - Oh. - when he was a deep-sea diver? 124 00:08:07,106 --> 00:08:10,576 - Yeah. - And his partner was Gilbert Roland? 125 00:08:10,643 --> 00:08:14,648 And Gilbert Roland always used to screw on this great big steel helmet... 126 00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:17,558 onjon Hall's headjust before he would go to the bottom. 127 00:08:17,617 --> 00:08:20,063 Yeah, and then Gilbert Roland cuts off his air. 128 00:08:20,119 --> 00:08:22,326 - Yeah. - Yeah. 129 00:08:22,388 --> 00:08:24,891 Well, honey, the last couple days... 130 00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:28,531 I felt like I've had a big steel helmet over my head... 131 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:31,576 and I would like somebody to unscrew it. 132 00:08:31,631 --> 00:08:33,872 What I'm trying to say, it would help a lot... 133 00:08:33,933 --> 00:08:37,039 if I could just spend some time alone. 134 00:08:37,103 --> 00:08:39,947 Oh, sure, Bob. That's a good idea. 135 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:43,749 I mean, no talking or anything. just alone. 136 00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:46,416 Well, we could start right now. I mean, I have some papers to grade... 137 00:08:46,479 --> 00:08:49,050 - and I won't bother you at all. - Great. 138 00:08:53,152 --> 00:08:55,598 So, what are you gonna do? 139 00:08:58,491 --> 00:09:02,598 Honey, one of the reasons I wanna be alone is so I won't have to explain everything. 140 00:09:02,662 --> 00:09:05,871 Oh, oh, you're right. I'm sorry, Bob. 141 00:09:05,932 --> 00:09:08,811 [Bob] Actually, I was gonna finish reading a book. 142 00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:13,214 Oh, good. What-- [Makes Popping Sound] 143 00:09:21,347 --> 00:09:24,089 [Phone Ringing] 144 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:27,597 Oh, I'll get it. Hello? 145 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,759 Oh, hi. How are you? 146 00:09:29,822 --> 00:09:32,564 Yeah, he's here, Hold on a minute. 147 00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:35,003 - Who is it? - It's your mother. 148 00:09:35,061 --> 00:09:36,938 Great. 149 00:09:41,234 --> 00:09:44,613 Hi, Mom. How was Springfield? 150 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,447 Oh, great. 151 00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:49,953 Yeah, I looked in on Muffin every day. 152 00:09:51,577 --> 00:09:54,990 The fresh water and the two handfuls of the kibbled, uh-- 153 00:09:57,083 --> 00:10:01,395 Well, Mom, I put the paper down. The rest is pretty much up to Muffin, you know? 154 00:10:05,325 --> 00:10:08,568 Mom, I didn't know you could overvvater a fern. 155 00:10:09,962 --> 00:10:12,442 Root rot. 156 00:10:12,498 --> 00:10:16,378 Mom, I'm right in the middle of something here. Could I call you tomorrow? 157 00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:18,382 Right. Bye, Mom. 158 00:10:18,438 --> 00:10:21,476 Well, I think I've had about enough of being alone in the living room. 159 00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:23,487 I think I'll try being alone in the den. 160 00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:26,547 - Sure, Bob. - [ Doorbell Buzzes ] 161 00:10:26,612 --> 00:10:29,684 Honey, unless that's really important, I'm not home. 162 00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,032 - Oh, hi, Howard. - Hi, Emily. ls Bob home? 163 00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:41,038 - No. - Oh. 164 00:10:41,094 --> 00:10:44,166 Well, I mean, he is, but he's busy. 165 00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:47,404 - Is he taking a shower? - No, not exactly. 166 00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:51,142 Is he, uh-- Oh, yeah. I understand. 167 00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,049 No, Howard, I don't thinkyou do. 168 00:10:55,108 --> 00:10:58,214 Uh, well, just tell him not to worry. My insurance will cover everything. 169 00:10:58,277 --> 00:11:01,918 Howard, what does that mean? 170 00:11:01,981 --> 00:11:05,224 Well, it was just a scratch. Well, maybe a little more than a scratch. 171 00:11:05,284 --> 00:11:09,198 Uh, I was pulling into the stall next to your car, and, uh... 172 00:11:09,255 --> 00:11:12,202 my car, uh-- totaled. 173 00:11:15,995 --> 00:11:19,738 I don't know why they put those stalls so close together with just a skinny pillar in between. 174 00:11:19,799 --> 00:11:22,040 Well, there was a pillar, but-- 175 00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:26,516 Howard, you wanna tell me about it? 176 00:11:26,572 --> 00:11:28,552 Oh, well, uh, uh-- 177 00:11:28,608 --> 00:11:31,282 Well, uh, here's my insurance agent's card. 178 00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:33,881 Look, uh, when you call him, don't get impatient. 179 00:11:33,946 --> 00:11:37,359 You have to let the phone ring a real long time. 180 00:11:37,417 --> 00:11:39,988 - I think we'd better look at it, Howard. - Yeah, that's a good idea. 181 00:11:40,052 --> 00:11:44,296 With the two of us, we can probably pull your fender away from my tire. 182 00:11:44,357 --> 00:11:46,303 On second thought, Howard, why don't you go alone. 183 00:11:46,359 --> 00:11:48,305 I don't thinkl could handle that right now. 184 00:11:48,361 --> 00:11:51,968 Just don't worry about a thing. I'll, uh-- hope the manager has a crowbar. 185 00:11:55,735 --> 00:11:58,773 - Emily, could I talk to you about something? -Sure. 186 00:11:58,838 --> 00:12:01,682 It has nothing to do with Howard creaming my car... 187 00:12:01,741 --> 00:12:06,815 or the coffeepot gurgling or any other gurgling. 188 00:12:06,879 --> 00:12:09,826 Now, um, we've been married three years... 189 00:12:09,882 --> 00:12:13,056 and we've spent every day of those three years together. 190 00:12:13,119 --> 00:12:15,622 And it's been great. 191 00:12:15,688 --> 00:12:19,966 But I think it would be healthy for our marriage and for my head... 192 00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:22,666 if I just took a breather. 193 00:12:22,728 --> 00:12:25,607 You know, like a retreat for a few days. 194 00:12:25,665 --> 00:12:28,737 And it'd be good for you. I'll find a nice quiet hotel. 195 00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:32,339 And it'll be good for both of us. 196 00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:36,353 Sure, Bob, ifit means that much to you. I mean, whatevefs right. 197 00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:40,653 Great, honey. I'll leave tomorrow, and I'll be back Sunday. 198 00:12:40,713 --> 00:12:44,991 Oh, you can't do that. You have to be back Friday for the dinner with the Seldins. 199 00:12:45,051 --> 00:12:47,429 But that only leaves me two days alone... 200 00:12:47,487 --> 00:12:49,660 and I don't like the Seldins. 201 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,837 Just cancel the Seldins. 202 00:12:52,892 --> 00:12:55,668 Well, I can't do that, because we canceled them once already... 203 00:12:55,728 --> 00:12:58,436 and then they canceled the Bettmans to be with us Friday. 204 00:12:58,498 --> 00:13:02,139 Emily, the steel helmet, you know what I mean? 205 00:13:02,201 --> 00:13:05,444 I feel like Gilbert Roland is cutting off my air. 206 00:13:06,572 --> 00:13:08,677 I've gotta find something to cheer me up. 207 00:13:08,741 --> 00:13:11,051 I think I'll go look at my car. 208 00:13:15,848 --> 00:13:20,888 Well, this is, uh, this is it. 209 00:13:20,953 --> 00:13:23,832 I guess I won't be seeing you for about five days. 210 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:28,339 If anything important happens, call me, but only if it's something important. 211 00:13:28,394 --> 00:13:32,433 Now don't worry. I'm gonna give you five bona fide days of absolute aloneness. 212 00:13:32,498 --> 00:13:35,809 And you'd better enjoy it, 'cause it's gonna have to last you a long time. 213 00:13:35,868 --> 00:13:37,870 So, what are you gonna do? 214 00:13:37,937 --> 00:13:41,976 Oh, I don't know. I thought I'd take off my wedding band and go to a singles' bar. 215 00:13:47,213 --> 00:13:49,557 - Okay. - All right. 216 00:13:50,983 --> 00:13:53,896 Oh, hey, Bob. Oh, where're you kids going, a vacation? 217 00:13:53,953 --> 00:13:55,762 - Uh, no. - A long weekend, huh? 218 00:13:55,821 --> 00:13:59,735 - No, Howard. - I'm just taking offfor a while, Howard. 219 00:13:59,792 --> 00:14:02,898 - I wanna be alone. - [ust for a couple of days. 220 00:14:02,962 --> 00:14:06,466 Emily, Bob, I want you to know that no matter what happens... 221 00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:09,706 I-I wanna stay friends with both of you. 222 00:14:19,045 --> 00:14:22,458 Hi, Bob. Well, what are you gonna do on your first night of being alone? 223 00:14:22,515 --> 00:14:26,554 First I have to find a place to stay, then I think I'll just spend it by myself. 224 00:14:26,619 --> 00:14:28,929 Great. I was gonna do the same thing. You wanna do it together? 225 00:14:30,856 --> 00:14:33,302 - No,jerry. Maybe later in the week. - Uh-huh. 226 00:14:33,359 --> 00:14:35,305 But I really ought to know which night. 227 00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:38,865 You see, I'm gonna be busy on Thursday night, but any other night is good. 228 00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:42,538 Unless Thursday's the only night that's good for you, and then I could switch my handball game. 229 00:14:42,602 --> 00:14:47,142 SeeJerry, that's why I wanna get off by myself. We'll just wing it, okay? 230 00:14:47,206 --> 00:14:49,652 - Okay. - I have to find a hotel room right now. 231 00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:52,622 Hotel? Who needs a hotel? 232 00:14:52,678 --> 00:14:56,455 - He does. - Got some great little hotels in here. 233 00:14:56,515 --> 00:14:59,587 - You keep hotels in your address book? - Well, I'm a doctonjerry. 234 00:14:59,652 --> 00:15:02,326 My answering service always has to know where I am. 235 00:15:02,388 --> 00:15:05,426 Uh, here's one on the South Side. 236 00:15:05,491 --> 00:15:07,994 The, uh, the Outrigger. Tahitian motif. 237 00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:12,133 Every room's got a bathtub shaped like a giant clam shell. 238 00:15:13,499 --> 00:15:17,572 I don't thinkl could relax in a giant clam shell. 239 00:15:17,637 --> 00:15:20,550 Well, how about the Royal Lantern on Northmont? 240 00:15:20,606 --> 00:15:24,577 Real popular with doctors. Can't get near the place on Wednesdays. 241 00:15:27,213 --> 00:15:29,159 Is it quiet at night? 242 00:15:29,215 --> 00:15:33,459 Night? I don't know anyone who's ever stayed there at night. 243 00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:40,330 - Oh, Bob. Oh, Bob, I'm glad I caught you in. - What's the matter, Howard? 244 00:15:40,393 --> 00:15:43,237 It's been bothering me all clay about you and Emily splitting up. 245 00:15:43,295 --> 00:15:45,639 It was my car accident that brought things to a head, wasn't it? 246 00:15:45,698 --> 00:15:48,508 Howard, someday I'll explain it all to you. 247 00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:51,776 - Bob, you and Emily are finished? And you didn't tell me. -And it was all my fault. 248 00:15:51,837 --> 00:15:55,649 Oh, well, if you're separated, you gotta go to the El Morocco. 249 00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:57,654 They got water beds. 250 00:15:57,710 --> 00:15:59,815 Oh, no. 251 00:16:09,755 --> 00:16:12,099 Well, this is your room. Nice, huh? 252 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:19,339 That's your TV set over there, and your bathroom's right through those doors over there. 253 00:16:19,398 --> 00:16:23,073 - Where you from, Dr. Hartley? - I'm from Chicago. Here. 254 00:16:23,135 --> 00:16:26,912 Then I guess you're clone with this. I'll just stick it in the closet out of your way. 255 00:16:26,972 --> 00:16:29,145 No, no, my clothes are in there. 256 00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:31,415 Oh, sure. 257 00:16:35,781 --> 00:16:38,091 Well, I guess that's about it. 258 00:16:43,322 --> 00:16:46,428 Thank you, Doctor. Oh, listen, your ice machine's down your hail on your left. 259 00:16:46,492 --> 00:16:49,769 And, uh, your Do Not Disturb sign... 260 00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:52,673 in case you, uh, you know. 261 00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:09,684 [Phone Ringing] 262 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,121 Hello? 263 00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:17,463 Oh, hello, Howard. 264 00:17:17,523 --> 00:17:20,129 No, I'm okay, Howard. I'm not lonely. 265 00:17:21,627 --> 00:17:24,972 Howard, how'd you find out what hotel I was staying at? 266 00:17:25,030 --> 00:17:28,978 You just started looking in the telephone book. 267 00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:32,481 It is lucky the Aberdeen Hotel begins with an 268 00:17:34,673 --> 00:17:39,144 Howard, Emily and I are not getting a divorce. 269 00:17:39,211 --> 00:17:41,782 Well, I'm glad to hear she's not playing around, Howard. 270 00:17:43,415 --> 00:17:45,588 Good-bye, Howard. 271 00:17:47,486 --> 00:17:49,432 Hello, Desk? 272 00:17:49,488 --> 00:17:51,695 Yeah, this is Dr. Robert Hartley. 273 00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:56,399 Yeah, uh, would you please hold all my calls? Except for my wife? 274 00:17:56,462 --> 00:17:58,669 And my service. 275 00:17:59,732 --> 00:18:03,077 And, uh, any of my patients. 276 00:18:05,104 --> 00:18:07,175 And my secretary. 277 00:18:08,641 --> 00:18:12,521 Lust send all my calls through, will ya? 278 00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:37,046 I don't know. 279 00:18:37,102 --> 00:18:42,279 Maybe sex education does have a place in the fifth-grade curriculum. 280 00:18:42,341 --> 00:18:44,878 I mean, a lot of other schools are teaching it... 281 00:18:44,944 --> 00:18:49,450 and this book certainly does a good job, but I don't know. 282 00:18:49,515 --> 00:18:53,964 I just hate to have people say we're not with it, you know? 283 00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:58,126 Mrs. Prince, I personally don't care whether you're with it or without it. 284 00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:09,545 The point is, do you want to take the responsibility of teaching sex to children? 285 00:19:09,602 --> 00:19:13,448 I certainly don't want to. Do you, Mrs. Prince? 286 00:19:13,505 --> 00:19:18,887 Uh, excuse me. I don't know how you all can just sit here and listen to that man. 287 00:19:19,912 --> 00:19:21,858 I think it's fine... 288 00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:23,860 to teach history and math to fifth graders... 289 00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:27,989 but unless they learn about sex, there isn't going to be any more history. 290 00:19:28,053 --> 00:19:33,765 This book explains the facts of life to kids better than any book any of us have ever seen. 291 00:19:33,826 --> 00:19:37,035 It's beautifully written, and it's tastefully presented... 292 00:19:37,096 --> 00:19:39,440 and it's wonderfully and innocently sensitive. 293 00:19:39,498 --> 00:19:43,947 And what about the frank illustrations? 294 00:19:44,003 --> 00:19:47,450 Mr. Warner, you say that like this book is full of dirty pictures. 295 00:19:47,506 --> 00:19:51,454 I mean, a chicken inside ofan egg is not exactly a dirty picture. 296 00:19:53,145 --> 00:19:56,354 What about the sheep and the goat? 297 00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:58,986 [Mouths Words] 298 00:19:59,051 --> 00:20:03,124 I guarantee you- if that book goes home with our fifth graders... 299 00:20:03,188 --> 00:20:05,896 it's liable to come back with a lot of outraged parents. 300 00:20:05,958 --> 00:20:10,600 And I think it's just as liable to come back with a lot of letters of praise. 301 00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:14,702 Mr. Warner, I'd like to give my opinion of the book. 302 00:20:16,435 --> 00:20:20,906 I loved it. It was so beautiful, I wish I could start all over again. 303 00:20:22,174 --> 00:20:25,951 Well... let's vote. 304 00:20:26,011 --> 00:20:29,618 You can vote all you want, Mrs. Hartley, but, um... 305 00:20:29,682 --> 00:20:35,428 I'vejust noticed we don't have a quorum, so it won't count. 306 00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:38,559 Well, we will have one next week, and then it will count. 307 00:20:38,624 --> 00:20:40,797 [Women] Right. 308 00:20:40,859 --> 00:20:44,966 Well, there's more coffee and refreshments on the table. 309 00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:47,032 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 310 00:20:47,099 --> 00:20:51,172 Well, on behalf of myself and my two kids... 311 00:20:51,236 --> 00:20:54,410 who I think already know anyway, thanks. 312 00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:58,387 Oh, Margaret, look, I'm still shaking, but I feel so good. 313 00:20:58,444 --> 00:21:00,947 I usually don't even go to these meetings when Bob's home... 314 00:21:01,013 --> 00:21:03,357 but I'm sure glad I came to this one. 315 00:21:03,415 --> 00:21:06,021 - When's Bob getting home? - Tomorrow. 316 00:21:06,085 --> 00:21:08,292 Oh, it has been a long week. 317 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:11,130 Well, here, maybe you oughta keep this. 318 00:21:13,392 --> 00:21:15,633 In case he's forgotten something. 319 00:21:26,138 --> 00:21:28,084 [Door Unlocking] 320 00:21:30,175 --> 00:21:32,451 - Bob! Oh, Bob! - Hi, honey. 321 00:21:32,511 --> 00:21:36,254 Oh, oh, oh, it's so light. 322 00:21:36,315 --> 00:21:38,420 Oh, I forgot. 323 00:21:45,758 --> 00:21:48,796 - Now, where were we? - Oh, Bob. 324 00:21:50,295 --> 00:21:53,208 Well, tell me, how was your week? 325 00:21:53,265 --> 00:21:55,711 Honey, I-l really missed you. 326 00:21:55,768 --> 00:21:59,477 Oh, I missed you too. How was it? 327 00:21:59,538 --> 00:22:03,042 Well, honey, I-l wouldn't wanna bring you down by telling you. 328 00:22:03,108 --> 00:22:05,088 Oh, that's okay. Tell me. 329 00:22:05,144 --> 00:22:07,146 Well, I wouldn't want you to feel bad. 330 00:22:07,212 --> 00:22:09,658 I won't. Tell me. 331 00:22:09,715 --> 00:22:12,093 It was great. 332 00:22:12,151 --> 00:22:17,430 Honey, Thursday I went to see three movies, one after the other. 333 00:22:17,489 --> 00:22:21,437 And I didn't get a headache like my mother always told me I would, you know? 334 00:22:25,030 --> 00:22:27,533 I did one thing I've always wanted to do. 335 00:22:27,599 --> 00:22:29,545 - What? - Nothing. 336 00:22:29,601 --> 00:22:32,605 I didn't do anything. Absolutely nothing. 337 00:22:32,671 --> 00:22:35,345 - How'd you do? - Oh,just terrific. 338 00:22:35,407 --> 00:22:39,184 - Well, that's great. - Yeah, I-l goofed off and I read. 339 00:22:39,244 --> 00:22:42,123 And I called some old friends I haven't seen in a long time. 340 00:22:42,181 --> 00:22:45,754 And, oh, Bob, I really said what I felt at a teachers' meeting. 341 00:22:45,818 --> 00:22:48,856 And I wrote a poem. 342 00:22:48,921 --> 00:22:50,696 You're kidding. Let me see it. 343 00:22:50,756 --> 00:22:53,930 - No, you don't wanna see it. - Yeah, I wanna see it. 344 00:22:53,992 --> 00:22:56,438 No. 345 00:22:56,495 --> 00:22:58,441 It's over there. 346 00:23:03,435 --> 00:23:05,574 - [Chuckles] - What? 347 00:23:05,637 --> 00:23:09,107 Oh, the word “'twas“ always breaks me up. 348 00:23:13,045 --> 00:23:15,286 - What? Wait-- - '“Twould.“ 349 00:23:15,347 --> 00:23:17,452 Oh. 350 00:23:18,684 --> 00:23:21,927 Honey, that's beautiful. In fact. 351 00:23:24,456 --> 00:23:27,733 Uh, maybe I'd better go unplug the coffee, huh? 352 00:23:27,793 --> 00:23:29,795 Yeah, and I'll go in the bedroom and unpack. 353 00:23:29,862 --> 00:23:32,035 Yeah, I'll be there in a minute to help. 354 00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:40,617 Doorbell Buzzes 1 355 00:23:44,910 --> 00:23:46,856 - Oh, hi, Howard. - Oh, hi, Emily. 356 00:23:46,912 --> 00:23:49,153 I just wanted to see how you were doing. 357 00:23:49,214 --> 00:23:53,287 - Who is it, honey? - God, I hope that's Bob. 358 00:24:00,692 --> 00:24:04,765 Here's one from the hospital. A Ms. Tyler called. 359 00:24:04,830 --> 00:24:07,003 And here's one from an Olga something or other. 360 00:24:07,065 --> 00:24:09,443 I didn't catch her last name. And that's it. 361 00:24:09,501 --> 00:24:14,143 Okay, get me Olga first, uh, then Ms. Tyler. 362 00:24:14,206 --> 00:24:17,449 - What about the hospital? - Oh, yeah, get the hospital too. 363 00:24:17,509 --> 00:24:20,285 - [ Elevator Bell Dings] - Oh, hi, Fred. 364 00:24:20,345 --> 00:24:24,350 Oh, hi, Bob. Hey, how'd you like it at the Aberdeen? 365 00:24:24,416 --> 00:24:28,057 It was great. Very comfortable, the food was good. I had a terrific time. 366 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,600 Say, why don't we go over to the Aberdeen bar tonight after work... 367 00:24:30,656 --> 00:24:33,569 and, uh, have a couple of laughs-- you know what I mean? 368 00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:35,468 Gee, I'm back home with the wife. 369 00:24:35,527 --> 00:24:38,303 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 370 00:25:13,532 --> 00:25:14,943 [ Mews]